the most nerve wracking event of my life

A month or so ago the ward music director called while I was busy with kids and Steven answered the phone. He asked if I would do a musical number for church and Steven enthusiastically volunteered me.

I completely freaked out when Steven filled me in on this news.

I am NOT a performer. I can sing, IF I have a large group joining me. I play the piano but ONLY in the comfort of my living room by myself with lots and lots of mistakes. If I even think about playing in front of anyone it nearly sends me into a panic attack. Just having Steven look over my shoulder while I am playing gets me nervous.

So imagine my state at the thought of doing a musical number at church.

However, I often comment that they always have the same people do musical numbers. How can I complain if I don't help with the solution? I know from talking to the musical director's wife that he has a hard time getting people to do anything. I know how that feels too. And we have had several talks with our kids lately about doing hard things. What kind of example am I if I won't commit to doing hard things myself?

So I very nervously agreed to do it.

I didn't want to try to pull together a group to sing with me so I began to look through my piano music. I have been playing several songs over the past few years that would be appropriate for church. I picked "I Feel My Savior's Love" a beautiful arrangement by Paul Cardall. It was one that I hoped I could practice enough and pray enough to work out the kinks.

I also knew that no matter how good I could play it at home it would be a completely different experience playing it at church in front of a few hundred people.

I played this last Sunday. I felt as prepared as I could be. When I played I was so nervous that my hands were literally shaking. That made it difficult to hit the notes correctly. Somehow I made it through. It was not perfect and I have played it better but I did OK.

I can do hard things too!